never play flip cup with pint glasses
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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