I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
