two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
