if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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