Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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