I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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