I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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