His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
