jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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