is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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