got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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