No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
