Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
