two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
