i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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