the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
