Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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