:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
