I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
