Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
