I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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