We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
