she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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