New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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