we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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