If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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