I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
