Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
