Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
