How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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