sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
