To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
