You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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