I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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