Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize