thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
