I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
