I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
