So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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