omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
