giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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