Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
