just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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