I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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