I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
