If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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