and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
