Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
