So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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