week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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