God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
