So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
