if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize