But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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