Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
