I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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