I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
