I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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