im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
