i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
