capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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