unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
