He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
