so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
