I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
