his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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