I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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