Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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