your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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