i don't like sucking hair
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
