Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
